exhale.

Brandon and Erin a few years back.  My first roll of 35mm 

that wasn't a disposable camera.

So, today is a bit difficult.  The fear of regret is motivating me to do some things I would not usually do.  I hope that the rejection I perceive to be in my near future will not suck too bad.  Who knows, maybe this will be a liberating experience.  And if not, at least it will be over before the weekend.

Roark.

Dustin took this!!  Me and my chariot! (I'm hilarious, admit it.  or sleep deprived?)

Today I took a bike ride at sunrise after staying up all night working on things.  Things being a SOC paper, BIO homework and a bazillion pages of reading.

OH MY GAH. my route: up 21st to guad. then down to 40th and then right there to hit speedway and somehow make it to the east mall at 7am to see the huge fountain explode into action!! SHITTT!! then to MLK and over to the DF field to explore parking lots and then down my FAVORITE hill on campus.  WHEW!  staying up all night has never been so stellar!

i know i may regret this at 5pm when my last class ends and i can't even make it all the way back to my room to crash, but right now I am in love with being awake all of the time, and also my bike (his name is Roark!).

release.

Danny and Maya, lovers and comic strip drawers.

Today was one of those uneasy days.  I do not get overwhelmed very often, but today was right for it.  

I am calm now, but unable to sleep.  

ninny muffin.

This is Maya, the most resilient human on the planet.

My 4th grade mentee.

The drunken couple.  They were very worried about the well-being of their diet soda child.

Things are well.  A few notes:

-I got to spend an evening with my sister and nieces; it was wonderful.  My sister is the best mother ever.    -I miss my mom/dad/bro.  Taylor is having a big surgery soon. I am worried about him.    -I miss Jared terribly, and write him (annoyingly) often.

-After these next two weeks are over, I promise I will come home for a week to visit.    -I am a ninny muffin.  Really.

tough shit.

Sometimes you just have to be tough.

I have been up for 33 hours and have at least 5 more to go.

I am actually having a really good day, though. And by day I mean the past 33 hours.  I went to two days worth of classes, and have been hella productive (written a SOC paper, read 7 SOC articles, read 3 ROME CIV articles, completed a scholarship app., studied for my government test tomorrow and completed BIO homework).  Micah and I went to Epoch for nearly 12 hours... man.  I also have picked out new wheels for my bike; they are going to be mustard yellow.  They will look so "fly" with my burgundy frame!  SHIT!!

simple things.

This is my beautiful friend Angela.  

I want to be just like her, basically.

So, things are kind of goofy nuts right now.  

By goofy nuts I mean: I am making decisions!! WHAAA!!!

1) i will learn Arabic and understand Islam because I care about 

the injustices the Islamic people have suffered.  

I will help to make it right.

2) i will bike forever. 

3) 35mm film sucks & 120mm (and 220) film kicks.

4) group projects, that require papers, i will avoid forever.

5) i will always wear sandals, even if they do tend to smell.

6) kindnessessity.  7) i fucking love hiking.

8) if i want to, i should still love people, 

even if they are incapable of loving me in return.

9) i will give her space if she needs it because i love her.

10) i will tell the truth.

These are all pretty simple things, 

but I thought them through very carefully. 

we're writing our past right now.

Yesterday, sigh...  I wonder how the hell I lived this long without a day like that.  It was my 19th birthday yesterday, but that was the least significant part about the day.  I decided to sleep through my one class yesterday to catch up on sleep.  Upon waking up I'm sure I ate, but can't remember where, and then Dustin and I went to Precision Camera to get a lens cap and a UV filter for my newest camera (and to pick up prints and to drop off a million rolls of film).   Then a little studying happened and an RSSC meeting ( I adore Angela and Chris because they understand the things I like because they like them also), where I discovered Orangina-- the best beverage EVER.  Then many friends accompanied me to dinner at Clay Pit, and there is mango cheesecake awaiting me in the refrigerator.  Pre-dinner I had a conversation, via cellular phone, with my parents (whom I love and miss greatly).  I told them about the letter I received from the Arabic Flagship Program, which invited me to study Arabic this summer at the University with the possibility of a Fellowship beginning the second summer semester (if I performed well).  Being offered a Fellowship would mean that the University (or rather, the federal government) would pay for all of my Arabic coursework and study abroad time in Egypt (I would do a summer in between Junior and Senior year and a full year post-senior year coursework but pre-graduation).  This would mean SO MUCH MONEY and the opportunity to study with the best Arabic professors in the country!  SHIT!!

Anyhow, so my parents agreed that I should remain in Austin this summer to take a shot at this, so as of yesterday I am living in Austin this summer.  Whew. I need to find a place to live, and I've never been more excited.  

Later in the evening I had the privilege of seeing Scout Niblett play at Emo's.  This woman is amazing and just solidified the greatness of my day. I can, without hesitation, say this was the best concert experience of my life.  If you have not heard of her you should begin by listening to "Do you want to be buried with my people?"  After the show it was pouring outside and Andrea, Dustin, Steven, and I barreled down an abnormally barren 6th street to try and find the e-bus (which we found).  It was one of those moments where you are so happy to just be running down the street with people you love that you forget that it's freezing and wet or that maybe you should not run with your mouth open.  Upon returning to campus we had a puddle fight.  Gosh, I wish I was better at description.

As Scout says, "It's so fun to see me being me alongside you."

bike brigade.

Yesterday I received my new camera in the mail, hooray e-bay!  It is a Kowa Six, nothing too fancy, but I'm in love with it/ still figuring it out.  Also yesterday, I rode my bike, A LOT. I was gone with Besty for nearly 2 hours and then took a small bike brigade journey to I <3 Video to return a late movie with Fang, Dustin, and Danny.  The weather has been amazing lately, and I plan to spend the majority of the weekend on my bike-- and doing research projects...

bug kingdom.

This is Rachael, she was reading to Micah and I about REM cycles as we built the bug kingdom-- the best bug kingdom ever.

This is Micah and his chill ass mutha-fuckin bike.  He was the co-builder of the bug kingdom, if I remember correctly. (and this photo looks like shit compared to its near state of awesomeness pre-scan)

I am currently working on a research project that will explore the inherent conflicts between Jehovah's Witnesses' religious practices and a democratic/pluralistic society.  I previously lacked knowledge on the subject, now I know more than I ever believed to even exist about the Witnesses.  Yay knowledge.

over lunch.

Over lunch today the three persons sitting behind us were having a conversation regarding their futures.  One of the males was describing to his peers how the acquiring of a wife would lead to children and that those subsequent children would "become anchors that would anchor [him] away from happiness."  

woah.

blue-ness.

These for my two favorites, Andrea and Dustin.

This is my roomie, Allison.  We have gotten pretty good at living together. This is my favorite bra that she wears. 

I am not a "photographer," but I like photographing.  It helps the memories remain vivid, and it's good exercise for your pointer finger. This is here to tell the story of my life, and how things are.