messy mess.

i'm feeling pretty melancholy. things are kind of a mess. i've been getting sick again. getting behind in school. loosing touch with friends. being exhausted. suppressing desire for the sake of getting things done. all of these frustrating habbits i thoguht i had put to rest have resurfaced and i've suddenly become bad at taking care of myself again, but increasingly good at taking care of other people.


besides that.


my new home, eden house, it lovely. the people are great, my room is cute and has huge windows, and i will soon have my very own garden. i never thought i'd get to have my own garden. there's just something about growing things...

together.

I have realized lately, as my good friend Maggie and I discussed, that I have never been in a situation, in my entire life, where I was excited about government or a time where I found myself within the majority opinion. Since I was old enough to understand, all I have ever known is the Bush Administration and it is such an incredible feeling to feel a part of a larger group that feels the same. We will fight poverty, together; we will fight against those destroying the environment together; we will finish these wars and take care of the brave now fighting when they return home, together; we will make sure that all citizens have health care available to them, together; we will fight for civil rights and equality, together; we will better our education system and take better care of our educators, together; we will use diplomacy to communicate with the rest of the world and restore our global legitimacy, together. And this includes those who did not vote for our now president-elect as well, any Christian, Muslim, Jew, Atheist, Gay, Straight, Black, White, Hispanic, Poor, Rich, Republican, Democrat, Male, Female, Old, Young person, because I feel most of these issues are concerns for every single person on the face of this planet.

I know that this may seem cheesy to some, but now I am willing to work and fight and try because I feel that I can. It will not be easy and I know that all I am hoping to accomplish will not happen immediately, but eventually. I will leave you with this:


“We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics who will
only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks to come. We've been
asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against
offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been
anything false about hope. For when we have faced down impossible
odds; when we've been told that we're not ready, or that we shouldn't
try, or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a
simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people, Yes we can.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the
destiny of a nation, Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail
toward freedom through the darkest of nights, Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and
pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness, Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the
ballot; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality. Yes we can to opportunity and
prosperity. Yes we can heal this nation. Yes we can repair this
world. Yes we can.

And we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we
are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people;
we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter
in America's story with three words that will ring from coast to
coast; from sea to shining sea - Yes. We. Can.”

freeeeeeeeee.

i just went for a ride around my neighborhood in my underwear.

thank you mr. 'second wind' for finally showing up. i've been waiting on you all year.

a bag of hammers

"shake shake shake shake the frame of this house, distress the wood make it shout."

My home is in and out and full of refugees and school is school and work is enjoyable and my bike is making a funny noise and my computer still doesnt have a battery and my room is finished and i have to wake up early everyday now and i'm tired and i want to sleep all day and not feel guilty about it and i want to dance and read and lay in my hammock forever.

4604 duval

jordan allison and i have moved into our new home at 4604 duval street and hyde park is so perfect. we had a huge party last night and went through many gallons of punch and an entire keg of lonestar. jesus!

besides that, i barely made it through the summer semesters of arabic and now i am up to my neck in school work again. i am taking lots of arabic, islamic theology, and weather and climate. they all seem as though they will be tough but worth my time.

i am also feeling a bit asexual lately, i can't remember that last time i lusted after someone without alcohol in me--bummer.

i'm tired, g'night.

worn.

i am completely and undeniably exhausted. i wish that i could say it was because i was up late every night riding bikes around the city or maybe even because i had a little too much to drink and was out dancing until people were leaving for work and school.

while i love studying arabic and i reap the rewards of that work everyday, i am simply exhausted. this entire summer has been like one continuous finals' week and i can't bare to think that i have four more weeks of grinding this out before i have to move and get right back to all of it. on top of this particular stress, a few other things have been plaguing me, like that i miss my family and that i am extremely lonely. you can only spend so much time by yourself, doing homework and eating and sleeping alone in a house that is almost always empty before it gets to you. and it is not like i don't go out and do things, i totally went and saw the dark knight this afternoon, but i didn't really get to talk to anyone and even if i did i feel as if i'd have nothing to talk about... unless you want to talk about arabic homework, which of course is the reason i couldn't hang out after the movie.

woo hoo. al-wajib al-arabiyya, here i come.

crash.

i crashed on my bike today, my whole body hurts.  i didn't cry, but i wanted to.