Jinssiya

I'm sitting at the Bennu coffee house, next to the biggest window I can find, soaking up some sun and casual tunes. The reason I am really here is because I absolutely must write today. I need to write my statement of purpose, or at least a skeleton version, by the end of the day. I am perplexed as to how this is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. How can that be?

To begin, I needed to pinpoint exactly what it was that led me to this moment. Why study religion? Why have I become concerned with multi-layered identities, particularly regarding overlaps of religiosity, sexuality, and nationality? It took a few cups of coffee and paced journey around the building to realize exactly when that switch had flipped.

The moment I set foot on Yemeni soil I grabbed my bags from the ground in the shadow of the plane and dragged them into the airport. I was greeted by a representative from the college I was to attend and he handed me a pen and a single sheet of paper, “Inti laazam tuqa’ kida, lo samaat.” (you have to sign this, please). So, I gripped the pen and began the first letter of my signature, I was in a travel-induced daze, that is until my eyes glimpsed the word “jinssiya.” Sexuality. For the first time in my life that word actually had meaning, it was real. I was signing a gag order on my sexuality. I was signing a document that stated if I discussed my sexuality while in the country, the college would no longer be responsible for my safety. As the death penalty is still a viable punishment for homosexuality in Yemen; this meant if I disclosed my queerness while in the country, they would not be on my side of the aisle in the courtroom.


For the time being, I was no longer a queer American feminist and activist, I was just an American girl. Being of a national, religious, and sexual minority complicated my already delicate and muddled identity while in the country. I believe it was this period of my life that helped me understand what was so unique about minority identity development. Upon returning to the States, this experience helped me reorient my ideas in thinking about diaspora and minority communities and the difficulties of cultural assimilation.


So, maybe none of you reading care, even the slightest bit, about my grad. applications, but at the very least, send good vibes my way. I have my work cut out for me.


Love you all,


C